We all have our share of intimacy fears that develop during our childhood and difficult early relationship experiences, but for most of us, our desire to be with another - to open our Self and share our inner being with someone - is much stronger than our fears. Because our inherent drive to be with someone is so powerful, we put ourselves out there and hope for the best. Through connecting with and interacting with others romantically, we get to know ourselves and learn about our own needs and desires when it comes to relating.
For a person with Saturn retrograde in the natal chart, intimacy fears are enormous. They may have an easy time connecting with others (depending on other factors in their chart) and could be very friendly and seemingly outgoing, but if you take a closer look you will soon realize that the Saturn retrograde person gets along fabulously with strangers or ‘new’ friends but tends to shut off - castrate - those who grow to love him or her or anyone who gets close enough to notice the fine cracks in the façade the native presents to others. There is a very tender and vulnerable emotional infant lurking within the Saturn retrograde native…this may be a very small aspect of the soul, or it could be a huge part of the personality, but beneath the strongly contained ego that appears to have it all together, there is a child wanting to be loved for who he or she is… an infant wanting to be nurtured and cherished and most of all, understood and appreciated. The fear of not being good enough, not being what is expected, of being weak and vulnerable to others or worse, superseded or totally unneeded by anyone, drives the Soul with Saturn retrograde deeper and deeper into a cocoon of their own making…an isolated and lonely place to be, a stranger in the shadows watching others and wondering why he (or she) feels so horribly alone.
The Saturn retrograde individual is like a sponge that absorbs all of the energy around him (her) and intuitively knows what is going on and how to protect the self within that atmosphere…he may also take on the beliefs or thought patterns of others, especially in youth, without even being aware that these beliefs aren’t really his own but were absorbed from the family or society/culture he was raised in. There is a (karmic) distortion in the personality that allows the external world to permeate the Soul, rendering the Saturn retrograde native’s early attempts at constructing boundaries ineffective. As the ego develops, it learns to construct higher and thicker emotional walls, extremely defensive barriers, and a reserve with others that says, “Do NOT approach.” Of course those superficially involved with the native may not sense or feel any of this because the fears aren’t activated until the Saturn retro individual grows closer or more involved with a person. Let him (or her) fall in Love and Bam…the fear floods in and the walls come up. The worries that the loved one will not love the ‘true’ self can be so strong that they distance themselves or sever the relationship in order to protect the loved one…and the Self.
Ironically, if they would move toward the lover, open to the lover, and find a way to let down the barriers...
Read the rest of my article, Love and Saturn Retrograde
Currently reading: Women Who Run With the Wolves ~ Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph. D. Highly recommend...I already AM a Wild Woman, LOL
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